Challenge #6: Wrong Answer, Wrong Question, and Ackthpt! II

Location: Starbucks
1100 Hamner Ave, @ Hidden Valley Parkway, Norco, CA
(951) 738-8880 10:20 PM

There is nothing terribly amusing about this challenge; the store failed, although the Register Boy did at least have the good grace to look caught, and as if he knew better.

Me: May I have a venti Fair Trade drip please.

Register Boy: I, uh, I'm sorry, but we're brewing [coffee] and [coffee] right now.

Me: Oops, wrong answer. That's not the way to say yes! (Smile)

Register Boy: [Looks caught; nearly snaps his fingers and says "Shoot, " as he has recognized the Words of Power and knows he has messed up.] Uh . . .

Me: You can french press it.

Register Boy: Would you like me to French Press one?

Me: Yes. [He begins ringing up the sale; my fun begins in earnest] You really want to offer that to me, without making me ask for it, let alone ask for it twice. [Smile.]

Register Boy: Uh, uh, I don't know if we have it . . . uh [asks self-confident looking bustling fellow barista; she meanders around glancing vaguely at the shelves, then announces they are out.]

Me: Oh no, that's it down there on the bottom row. The one with the "Fair Trade" logo.

Etc etc. My three minute coffee came to me after six, and was thick and burnt as fried mud. Not quite Moose Turd Coffee, but darn close. I couldn't bear to ask them to remake so it was drinkable.

Of course I did my little social engineering bit, and good-naturedly warned Register Boy that the Fair Trade would be shopped heavily in the next couple of months and to bone up on the details, etc. Got the usual mixture of relief, fear and thanks for the "tip."

Bustling-But-Clueless Girl: [Handing me the undrinkable coffee] Do you work for Starbucks?

Me: No. [Wrong question, lady. Maybe I work for a secret shopper company, and am not actually employed by Starbucks. Maybe I'm a lawyer, checking up on your use or misuse of the Fair Trade trade mark. Maybe I'm just a crazed blogger with nothing better to do at 10:30 PM on a Friday night. But I'm a customer. And it should be embarrassing that I know your policies better than you do.]

SPECIAL NOTE TO Cindy, or any other
Starbucks employee that wanders in here:

Great policy, the "we can press it" thing, if only it were known to your employees. And since I am really more likely to want to buy ORGANIC coffee (not just Fair Trade) which many independents don't seem to stock (weird, that) you could solidify your world coffee dominance by making the policy work. It would be great if a pressed cup was so ordinary that it was not an experience to blog home about!

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Amused by the Starbucks Challenge? Me too. Now come see my real mission in the blogosphere: Easy Green and its companion journal, Observations, and such: Notes on the Kitchen Calendar

Challange #5: Another Save By A Sr. Partner

Location:
Pasadena, California
Lake Avenue at Green Street.

Call this one a miss, a save, and an oops.

But first, through the miracle of modern technology, I am actually sitting in Starbucks, composing this challenge write up, and will post it from my seat, French-pressed Fair Trade in hand.

Snort!

I don’t know why it tickles me so to do this, and I am tempted to take the technology a step further and whip out the digital camera to take and upload pictures with the report, but I will restrain myself I think.

Meanwhile, Hannah and I dropped off the car for tires – had a slow flat yesterday, and dare not drive much more on it. We walked down the block and around the corner to wait for the tire.

We strode -- and strollered -- boldly into the empty store and I asked, ever-so casually, for “a venti Fair Trade drip, please.”

“We haven’t had the Fair Trade for months,” the boy on the register begins.

Sigh.

“Café Estima is Fair Trade,” I reply matter-of-factly. He looks confused and stunned.

Behind him, a tall female barista who knows me from a different store (but has never been around for a Challenge, that I know of) pipes up with “We can French press it for you!” and saves the day.

I ask her to press it a minute short, because I do not like it quite as dark as it usually comes out. She says OK; I find a table in a far corner of the empty store and make a phone call on the cell to make a debit card payment on a bill . (Technology!)

Now remember, I had asked for the coffee to be pressed, as per my usual, for only two or three minutes instead of the standard four, because pressed coffee comes out too strong for me otherwise. Ten minutes and two phone calls later no coffee yet, although it had been sitting in the press pretty much since I asked for it. I finish my second phone call, and look around – there is the unpoured coffee on the back counter. Still.

Uh oh.

An employee coming on shift asks the others what the press was for, and Tall-Girl scurries over, pushes the press plunger, and pours the coffee.

May I interject a silent ackthptblehsplorflept Arghhhhh?

I say, ever so sweetly, “You know that cup’s been in the press nearly 10 minutes, could I get you to press a new one?”

“Sure,” the Tall-Girl says, without a hint of annoyance. And she does, forthwith, although why that cup was brought to me after such a severe soaking, I have no idea.

In any case, she brings the new coffee over, and we chat a bit about Fair Trade.

“Hey, you know some of your partners are confused about the difference between your old Fair Trade blend and Fair Trade certified coffee,” I mention. I point out that it is only Fair Trade if it has the third party certificate, that “fairly traded” is similar, but not the same thing.

She smiles and lets me know that “all my partners know that.” Hmm. Debatable, given Register-Boy's initial response. He did remember after prompted, though, or pretended too. And I only had to provide one hint.

So, as I say, I score this a Miss, A Save, and a non-fair-trade Oops.

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Amused by the Starbucks Challenge? Me too. Now come see my real mission in the blogosphere: Easy Green and its companion journal, Observations, and such: Notes on the Kitchen Calendar

Challenge #4 Catch & Release Baristas

Starbucks, Pasadena, California, USA
Corner of Allen & Washington Blvd.

My request for a "venti Fair Trade drip" got a puzzled look, and a back and forth head tilt, sort of like a cocker-spaniel earnestly trying to understand human speech.

"We aren't brewing that today, but we are brewing . . . huh?" Barista # 1 began.

"Sure, I'll have to press it, it will take 4 or 5 minutes," gushed Barrista #2, verbally shoving #1 out of the way. "Now that's the way to say 'yes,'" I said, and smiled.

Barista #2 then explained to Barista #1 about which coffees were Fair Trade, and that they could always brew a pressed cup --

"Ah, someone read the email!" I said pleasantly, chortling a little in the direction of Barista #2.

Then, suddenly, I remembered my last pressed cup (shudder) , so asked if I could have the coffee in three minutes -- not that I was in a hurry, but I had found that four minutes made some awful dark (shudder, shudder) coffee. No. 2 said OK, and then I did the evil social engineering thing.

See, I figure its not fair to trap 'em and stuff 'em and display the barista carcases here. Not really a sustainable practice, as I see it.

So I leaned in and said, quietly and conspiratorially to the not-so-knowledable Barista #1 "You know, you are going to get shopped pretty heavily for fair trade over the next sixth months, so you will want to be sure you are up on the product details. Let the other partners know. But quietly, " I added as an after thought.

Rofl! The combined look of horror and gratitude was priceless.

"Thank you! I will!" she said quietly, and then louder "enjoy your coffee!"

See, the the way I see it, this Catch & Release SBX Challenge is far more eco-friendly, and sustainable to- boot. Saves on Barista burn-out and retraining, while naturally improving the the local politico-ecosystem for the next SBX visitor.

Catch & Release. I like it.

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Amused by the Starbucks Challenge? Me too. Now come see my real mission in the blogosphere: Easy Green, quick ideas for a greener world, and its companion journal, Observations, and such

Challenge #3: Moose Turd Coffee

“Oogackthpftzshssss! Bleh! That was vile coffee!” I said to my son. “Fair Trade though!”

Starbucks, La Verne, Foothill and Wheeler. Not my usual. An older barista (over 30, neh!) with a Master Coffee Sumpthin’ black apron on.

“Hi,” I said “a venti Fair Trade drip, please.” Ms. Coffee Master looks over her shoulder “We’re not brewing that right now . . . “

“Rrrrrr.”

“Would you press it please?” I ask, somewhat abruptly, as if issuing a command to be obeyed, not really asking.

Ding! A light comes on, and she goes looking for the Fair Trade on the shelf. She offers me an organic coffee “Which one [Fair Trade] would you like? This is one,” Ms. Coffee Master temporizes.

“Uhm, no, “I say, again peremptorily.

“It is organic, which is good, but Fair Trade has a specific label”. She looks on the shelf again as the line grows from just me to me+three. “We must be out of it.”

I look too; don’t see it on the shelf, but as I turn toward the register a single, lonely, green bag of Café Estima catches my eye. I pluck it off the shelf, hand it too her without looking – “here you go” – and turn to walk back to the register.

Ms. Master Coffee returns and rings up the venti without a pause, and brings me the brewing coffee press and an empty cup. She has clipped a timer to the press handle to let me know when it’s ready. I am startled and amused. I ask her to pour it when it’s ready. I’m feeling snarky.

As she is ringing up the cup I am snarkier still.

“You should be aware,” I begin, in my best middle school teacher / district manager’s voice “that the Fair Trade coffee has to have the Fair Trade label on it to be Fair Trade; it would be a trade mark violation that the Fair Trade people could be upset about to offer the wrong coffee.”

I smile.

“You should also be aware – and let the other partners know – that Fair Trade is going to be shopped heavily over the next four to six months, and it’s important to say 'yes' and offer the correct, pressed, coffee before the customer asks.”

Gad, I love social engineering.

After a few minutes, Ms. Master Coffee brings me the press and cup again. “Go ahead,” I say and smile. “It’s good practice.”

She presses the coffee, and pours it after one false start. “See, I’m nervous now,” she says.

“No worries,” I say, “I don’t really like pressed coffee much anyway, but offering it right away when asked, and offering the right coffee, is important.” I smile broadly again, as if rewarding an apt pupil. “Thank you! I say effusively.

“Thanks for the lesson,” she says, smiling in return. “No problem, “ say I, content to know that poor rattled Ms. Master Coffee will let the partners know how to find – and handle – the Fair Trade coffee.

In the end, I have to score this a miss, albeit one that was mostly pulled out, and I bet I don’t get a miss here again. And yes, the coffee was damn strong, for a simple drip coffee – and this from a guy that will drink shots of unsweetened espresso. After a few sips I was able to drink it, but if I didn’t feel like I had already harassed the good woman enough, I might have asked for a drinkable cup. (Grin).

(For an amusing story called Moose Turd Pie have a listen to this.)

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Amused by the Starbucks Challenge? Me too. Now come see my real mission in the blogosphere: Easy Green and its companion journal, Observations, and such: Notes on the Kitchen Calendar